My Mama

My mama died today. My heart is heavy.
My mama who taught me to cook by adding some love, to clean so the family enjoyed being home, to care for loved ones, and to always try everything at least twice before making a judgment. She nursed me despite the toll it took on her, she wiped my tears and taught me to get back up despite how many times I fall. My mother wasn't perfect, but she was MINE.    
I know she is at peace and playing with all her fuzzy and naked friends from the past. 
Save a spot for me....but not yet.
I love you.

When I come to the end of the road

                                            And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little–but not too long

And not with your head bowed low.

Remember the love that we once shared

Miss me–but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take

And each must go alone. 

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.

Miss Me – But Let me Go!

Finding Love

Our first night out dancing

For the most part, my aversion to online dating was about pride.  Simply put, I thought that I'm only slightly attractive, not too interesting and too old to subject myself to the trauma of courting on the Internet as I'm better to know in person. But there's another reason, too — it's that I'm a sap for a love story. One of my favorite parts of dating is a charming "how we met" anecdote. And I'm sorry, but there's nothing charming about Match.com, or so I thought. 
So when several folks I knew admitted that they too were online dating or had met their signifigant others via online dating, I thought, " it's worth a shot". I'd never dated much and wanted to have fun, and not have anything serious as I was busy finding my own desires.
Now to create a profile that promotes my good qualities, but truthful enough to weed out the "don't even bother's".
Ugh..Electronic Self Solicitation..in short, I wrote, "I'm known for my directness, it's a curse. However, I was meant to be married as I love to make a home, and enjoy it filled with laughter,the smells of the kitchen, and a partner to share it with. Making love at one point and primal entanglements at another. I need a man with an open mind, sturdy heart, and firm hand. =) Let's do a happy hour."
It worked, I went out on a few dates, some weird, some are still friends and it was a great experience. Then one day I was notified that "Ryan97223" was interested. An email followed that said, " i like your profile and like that you don't put on aires" Yes, grammatical errors included. My first glance at his picture which was obviously taken with outstretched arm, was...toooo old. No more men over 50, I thought to myself. Been there, done that, sticking to closer to my own age. However we emailed, Facebooked and texted as he was experiencing some challenges that I too had experienced. I even texted him pics of dates I was on. Ryan, was a new friend and male confidant, though we'd never met. He invited me to meet up with him and some friends at a couple bars. I declined as I was too tired from dating. =) One evening I decided to check out a small bar near my apartment as they had a live band. I texted Ryan and asked him to meet me so I wouldn't feel pathetic and alone. He was coaching football at the time and had a prior engagement at another coaches house. But he might be able to meet me later. I begged...he said it'll be a bit but he'll come. As I sat at the bar, being oogled by the new caterer for the bar, in walked my knight wearing an orange hoody and a shy grin, and guess what? He was my age and handsome....and our story begins...
Our first night out was a couple weeks later, after that we quickly knew we were in love, despite our attempts to say, "this can't be", we knew we were soul-mates.

Almost a year later

And THAT, is our charming "how we met" anecdote. And our story continues......I love you Ryan Frederick.....

Here we go...Started at 184 lbs on Monday, currently 180. Coincidence? Water weight? Who knows. But I'm running with it. Joined Crunch Fitness and am excited for Zumba,Belly, butt and Thighs,and Lablast classes. I also have a personal trainer for 3 hours.  I HATE EXERCISE!

Emotions are a bit sensitive. I have no clothes that fit right and are comfy, and I really don't want to buy more. I must lose this. I'm tired of my fat rolls inhibiting me. My back hurts... I need my outside to match my inside. 

Not so eloquent today. But it's a start....

BEGIN AGAIN

http://GATESS.bodybyvi.com/


Starting my weightloss challenge and Biggest Loser show....

184 lbs BMI 29.8= overweight ( no kidding)

wish me luck