0430: The obnoxious Alarm goes off . "We have to walk up the mountain in the dark", Kathryn says, "so we can watch the trail the bear cross to get to the blackberries when the sun comes up". I stumble to the bathroom grumbling, while Kathryn hits the coffee maker. She knows that she'll have to shoot me (a bear without coffee) if I don't have it soon. Especially after the previous night of imbibing at the local watering hole while schmoozing the locals for info on where the deer are. Luckily this coastal home is wired so that music plays throughout the house, thank God that Micheal Buble is here to serenade me awake.
Empty the bladder, wash my face--without soap, comb out my tendrils, attempt to braid my hair, brush teeth, and layer up in my new hunting outfit! Woohoo. For my inaugural bear hunt Kathryn presents me with a shiny new camo knife for my belt. I was thrilled to have more bling added to my ensemble.
Day pack, with wipes, flashlight, hand warmers, granola/protein bars, compass, bone saw, survey tape, water and gloves....CHECK
0530: All loaded, jump into jeep.
0545: Arrive at hallowed grounds. Quietly get out of vehicle, load weapons, put on pack, don a flashlight and head up the trail. Quietly... walking almost sideways...mid trail to soften our footsteps. My boots are new, and of course one has a squeak. I follow Kathryn in the true form of Bugs Bunny, mimicking Elmer Fud as he hunts for wabbits. Shhhh....be vewwy vewwy quiet....squeak....thud....squeak...
Mind you, it is pitch black in the coastal forest. It's dense, it's windy, and the sounds of this forest are much different from the sounds of the Central Oregon forest I grew up with. It's noisier, bushes crackling, grass rustling, leaves dancing, more nocturnal animals moving about the landscape. My ears were not accustomed to these noises and therefore my hearing was on overload as we are ascending the mountain trail in the dark. In my head I was screaming, "What was that? Or that? What the heck made that noise? Is that a bear? I don't even have a pistol in the event a Cougorilla or Wild Mountain Gazora should spring from the bushes to eat me. It’ll take some time to get my hearing "filter" in order. I wasn't scared of the noises, only wanted to what crepuscular being made them.
0600: Kathryn stops, She asks, “Ok, have you hunted bear?" ..."Nope, Never hunted teddy bears!" She says, "Ok, so you might hear grunting, or growling in the blackberries, or crunching and smacking as they eat." I nod my head and we again ascend. thud, squeak, thud, squeak.
My senses on overload, beams from the flashlight illuminate the trail where I acutely observe that the sea of blackberry bushes are within two feet of us!
Hmmm....my mind reels....it's pitch black, climbing a trail within 2 feet of where these 200 # plus animals might be startled, have been known to growl and charge, and I have no weapon. I ask Kathryn if she has a pistol. "No, why?"
I said, "Well................ I just want you to know that if anything so much as farts in those bushes in this darkness, that all you're gonna see outta me is a$$ hole and elbows!"
She giggles and says, "If you scream, I'm gonna be pissed."
I promised I wouldn't scream like a girl.....in my mind praying that I wouldn't have to keep that promise should the need arise.
