Reaquainting with Mother Nature and her Offspring.

Growing up in rural Central Oregon, camping, fishing, and hunting were normal pursuits. My daddy had a pistol in my hands at 5 years old. We were taught life and death lessons, sometimes by harsh means. I remember a camping trip when I was young (maybe 6, my brother 4 ish), where we had a bowl of dog food out for the camp robbers who would eat from our laps, eventually the squirrels and chipmunks partook of the feast, tails flicking, scurrying about, quarreling with one another. We very much enjoyed our interactions with the forest creatures. Then, one of us kids was found playing with a firearm (I think my brother) Daddy took that pistol and shot one of our beloved furry creatures. With tear filled eyes and heads hung low we were made to LOOK, and SEE what the firearms DO. That sweet little thing was split wide open, innards exposed with the undigested dog food, still warm with the remnants of life. Firearms were NOT toys, they are made to KILL. LESSON LEARNED.
We were educated in hunters safety, how to track, keeping quiet in the woods, survival techniques, dressing your bounty, while laughing at the dogs trying to bury it from the ground up, or watch in awe, appreciating the circle of life as the coyotes and turkey vultures descended on the field dressed entrails, cleaning the forest and providing sustenance. I would "gut" my own fish and bait my own hooks. “Girls were just as capable as men!”,my father would say. I never killed an animal while hunting with my family. Only once, did I shoot and field dress an animal as I was taught, though it involved a spot light and a 22 and the season was unclear. However, it was for a needy family.
I have a held an internal love affair with the outdoors despite life’s twists and turns that have prevented me from truly embracing and enjoying its pleasures. I promise to take time, rekindling my almost forgotten relationship with the natural world by introducing myself once again, allowing the exploration of one another during brief, yet highly passionate encounters, to quietly listen to its breathy voice dancing in the leaves,  succumbing to the cool, dewy kisses as the glowing orb awakens from its nocturnal repose,allowing the sunsets warm embrace as it adjourns,  musing to the sounds of heavens tears or time for abeyance listening and watching the roaring waters. When I am scorned I promise to learn from it. I promise to respect nature’s offspring and their world, by packing out what I bring in, only shoot if I have a clear shot, and will love it with all that I have. This marriage between me and the outdoors has lasted my entire life and will last until after my death, after all….it will encase my body until it can no longer be defined. I will simply be one with the earth, my spirit free to be with God.
I hope you enjoy following my progress of this relationship renewal. I will share my stumbles, falls and accomplishments. I welcome any insight that you might provide me.